Crawling in my Skin
by winded.heart
Summary: He was the loner everyone ignored. She was the only one who was brave enough to care. He wasn't ready to open up to anyone let alone her. And he certainly wasn't ready to fall in love with her. /AU/
1. Chapter 1

**AN: So this story won't get out of my head. While I'm scratching for ideas for my other story, I will take a little break and stop giving myself a headache and start this story. I really hope you guys like it and am eager to hear from you. Reviews are very welcome. **

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_Summary: He was the loner everyone ignored. She was the only one who was brave enough to care. He wasn't ready to open up to anyone let alone her. And he certainly wasn't ready to fall in love with her. //AU//minor OOC//Rated for: language, minor graphic scenes//_

**CRAWLING IN MY SKIN**

**G. **I stared out the window, watching the clouds pass by. It's not like I had another option. I flipped my red bangs out of my hair, my foam green eyes lazily finding their way to the front of the classroom. I was in psychology right now with Iruka and I have to admit, he was a pretty chill teacher. I didn't think that at first, but I've grown accustomed to him. I closed my eyes, letting my head rest on the window. I thought back to when I first came here, how nothing has even changed.

_I walked into my first period class that I had with some guy named Iruka. I looked over all the other kids, already hating every last one of them. I sighed quietly, cursing my father for sending me here. Apparently, I just didn't "fit in" over at Suna High. And if I didn't "try harder" there would be consequences. I sat down near the window, tuning them all out until the teacher decided to open his mouth._

_"Class, we have a new student." I shut my eyes, trying to be as small as possible. __**You've got to be fucking kidding me. Don't you dare call me up there. **__"Gaara, would you care to come up and introduce yourself?" I opened my eyes slowly, glaring at him. He looked a bit shaken, but I couldn't let my father down again. The consequences weren't worth it. My chair squeaked as I pushed back, standing and walking to the front of the room. I heard their whispers, ignored their stares. I looked down at my black converses, shifting in my black ripped jeans and my green shirt. _

_"I'm Gaara." I said, about to sit back down but some blonde haired kid spoke up._

_"I'M NARUTO!" He yelled, the class half laughing. I didn't find this the least bit amusing._

_"…"_

_"IT'S NICE TO MEET YOU!" He said again, the class laughing once more._

_"…"_

_"Man, you sure don't talk much do you? You think you're too cool or something?" A raven haired boy said, a smirk on his face. I glared at him, squaring my shoulders. __**Please, pretty boy**__. _

_"I think he is. I mean, he wears make-" A brow haired boy started. I was in his face in a second._

_"I don't think you want to finish that sentence." I said between clenched teeth. I glared into his emotionless white eyes. _

_"Cut it out, all of you! This is not how we welcome a new student." Iruka said._

_"And? This is how we welcome a freak." The raven said. The class started laughing, and I clenched my fists, walking back to my seat. _

_"Sasuke, OUT!" He snickered, bowing. __**What a fool**__. I could already tell that he was a brainless idiot. I had nothing to worry about with him. _

_"Sure thing sensei. But it's true. He's a total loner, you can just tell." The girls giggled, swooning over him. I smirked._

_"And you're a total loser, you jackass. Come say that to my face pretty boy." I stood up, smirking at him. __**You have anything to back up your words?**__ He charged over at me, not saying a word. I stood there, smirking menacingly. "Come on, say it." I said slowly. He began to tremble ever so slightly. _

_"Tch. Stay out of my way, freak." He went to shove me into my seat but I side stepped him, slamming him to the window from behind. _

_"Stay out of mine, loser." I walked out of the classroom, ready to go home._

Sasuke and I are still enemies, I'm still called a freak and no one ever talks to me. Not that I care. I can't have a decent conversation with any of these air heads anyways. _Only one yea left. Only one, _I kept telling myself. I was a senior here at Konoha High, 17 years old. And I was excited as hell to get out of here, to start my own life and to get far away from all the people here.

"Gaara would you like to explain number 3?" I glared up at Iruka, and he sighed. Many eyes tried to sneak a look over at me. But it didn't work. The moment my eyes met theirs, they dropped them, too afraid to hold my eyes for a second. What cowards. After a couple of minutes of basically doing nothing, Iruka opened his mouth. He couldn't be serious!

"Alright class, I'm assigning a yearlong project. You are allowed one partner of whom I'm choosing." The class began groaning like a bunch a babies, but I couldn't blame them. I was pissed. _I'm supposed to work with one of these losers? There is no fucking way._ He ran down a list of people, and I was relieved not to have the worst of the students in there. Then he got to me.

"Gaara, you're partnered with Sakura." I slowly shifted in my seat to look at her, her curious emerald eyes looking directly into mine. I was amazed; she didn't drop her eyes. She had shoulder length pink hair, emerald eyes and had a kind of air to the way she looked. I scuffed, my stare turning into a glare, yet she didn't look away. Frustrated, I looked away, out the window. "Now, you and your partner are to do a case study on how people interact with each other. How you go about this is to your choosing but I need to approve first. So you and your partner have until next class to figure out what you're going to do. You can officially start 2 classes from now, when it's September. Get started." There was a rustling of chairs as people went to their partners. I stayed right where I was, not giving a shit about this girl. Out of the corner of my eye, I saw her sit in front of me, a small smile on her face.

"Hi Gaara." She said in a serene voice. My hands clenched into fists.

"…"

"How are you?" She asked. _Fucking furious._ I turned the intensity of my glare onto her fully, and her lip trembling. _That's right. Be a stupid coward like everyone else. You know you don't want to work with me. You're all the same._

"…"

"So, um….for the project…I was think-"

"Just shut the hell up already. I know you want to go ask to change partners. So go do it. Stop wasting my time." She was quiet for a few moments, her eyes dropping from mine finally. _Yup, figures. She's gonna do it._

"I want to work with you." She said quietly. I looked at her face again, surprised. I didn't show this.

"I hate liars." I said plainly. She narrowed her eyes, and I immediately wished I hadn't said that.

"Who are you calling a liar?! I don't lie you idiot. If I say something I mean it! I mean really, who do you think…." She kept droning on and on. _Oh my god. How do I shut this thing up?_

"ALRIGHT. I get it. Shut up." She looked taken aback by my tone but I didn't care. She was finally quiet.

"Well what are we gonna do?" She asked after a few minutes. I stared at her, her staring at me. And I thought about it.

"People in different places." She looked at me like I was dumb.

"We can't do just anybody. We have to choose like couples-"

"The hell we are. I am not wasting my time watching people grope each other and suck face." I said sternly. She dropped her eyes again.

"Um, how friends interact?" I just nodded curtly. She smiled at me and then I had to look away. I felt my pulse quicken slightly, immediately angered by this. There was no way in hell this girl was going to have any effect on me. She got up, about to walk to walk back to her desk when she tripped. My arms went out reflexively, catching her. Her face was dangerously close to mine. Our eyes connected, and then I knew. _She's different. _I felt myself become calm, almost happy. Her eyes drifted down to my lips, and my pulse started to quicken again. _No fucking way. No god damn fucking way is this happening._ I finally noticed that that the whole class had gotten silent, watching us. She had noticed too. She pushed away from me, her face red.

"D-don't touch me." She stammered, running over to her friends. That stupid idiot Sasuke wrapped his arms around her waist. I chuckled dryly.

"I'll be sure to remember that the next time you're about to fall face first into the ground." I glared at her again, hating this situation. It did not work for me at all.

"Look freak, I've put up with you for the past 3 years. But you overstepped your welcome. Do NOT touch my girl." I noticed how Sakura squirmed under his touch, her eyes angry at what he said.

"Doesn't look like she's your girl." He let her go, his face red with anger.

"She's my girl no matter what anyone says." He almost yelled, taking a step towards me.

"Hey! I think I decide who I belong to! And it's definitely not to you Sasuke, who cheated on me with Ino." She stepped in front of him, her fists clenched.

"Babe, you take things too personally. It's not my fault she was putting herself out there." Sakura socked the guy which I swear will be the highlight of my life. _She's definitely different._ She than hesitantly walked back over to me.

"I'm sorry. For earlier I mean. Thank you for catching me." I stared into her eyes, feeling that serene feeling again.

"Hn." I turned away from her, feeling blood rush to my face. This just wasn't me. _I cannot handle a year with this girl._

"By the way class, many of you have been coming up here asking for partner changes. It's not happening. Your partners are final."

_+This is just great. I fucking fail at life. I have no choice but to work with her!+_

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**AN: That was the first chapter. ****I hope you guys liked it. Please review. OH WAIT WAIT! Check out my profile to see what they look like. I haveee links!**


	2. Chapter 2

**AN: I was so happy for the reviews. Thanks so much! :D**

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**CRAWLING IN MY SKIN**

**II.**

**G. **I stared at Sakura, shifting ever so slightly in my seat. I didn't know what to do. I have to work with this pink headed girl, or else I fail and that's not acceptable. My eyes narrowed into slits, glaring hatefully at her. _This is your entire fault._ I knew it really wasn't. She couldn't help that the assignment was group work but still, she was beneath me.

"U-Um…Gaara. When do you want to start the project?" She stammered, looking at the tiles on the ground.

"..." Her eyes slowly drifted to mine. I felt that sereneness again, and I didn't like it.

"Well, we could always start tonight if you want."

"…"

"I'll just come over your-"

"No." My voice was sharper than I intended but I didn't particularly care. There was no way she was coming to my house. I hardly knew this girl. But being the persistent wretch she is, she didn't take no for an answer.

"Why not?" Her emerald orbs lit up, curious.

"…" I looked out the window, not saying a word. Like hell I was going to explain to her that I have a messed up family; that I have two siblings that are afraid of me; that I have a father that hates me. _I have a family that is too broken up for you to see, Sakura._ It's not something she or anyone would want to get involved in. The feeling of sorrow drowns your heart and soul into a place you can't escape. You wish for death every single day.

"You're going to have to say something here and there, ya know!" She huffed, crossing her arms. Her face scrunched up, and it looked cool? _Is that even the right word?_

"Because I said no." I turned my baleful eyes back at her, getting up and walking out the door. School was just about over anyway; no need to stay for another hour to talk about something stupid with her.

**S. **After things settled down a bit, Gaara and I sat back down by his seat. He always stared out that window each day. When I looked out there, it was boring; nothing happening. But he always had something to look at. His shaggy red locks wisped into his face in just the right way and his foam green eyes always held aloofness. I've always admired the way he looked. He was different from everyone else, with no eyebrows and a "love" symbol tattoo above his left eye. I've always known that Gaara was a guarded person. Anyone could tell. He kept distance from everyone, it was apparent in the way he never conversed with his peers; in how held himself. Many students here were afraid of him. But I wasn't. I just couldn't find it in me to be. He never did anything anyways, the guy barely even spoke! I mean talk about a mute! What I wanted to know was why everyone hated him so much. He couldn't have done anything that bad. I have a plan on how to open him up, as long as he cooperates without knowing.

I peered into his eyes, searching there depts. He kept them heavily guarded, a scowl always on his face when looking at people. I had a sudden urge to caress his cheek, smooth out his delicate pale skin. I knew that would get in me in much unwanted trouble though so I calmed myself. I kept staring into his eyes, feeling serenity fill me; until his eyes narrowed and he was glaring intensely at me.

"U-Um…Gaara. When do you want to start the project?" I stuttered, dropping my eyes to the suddenly interesting floor tiles by his feet. He always wore black converses. These were tattered and worn, but it suited him.

"..." I waited in vain for an answer that I realized wouldn't come. I was afraid to look at him, but I knew I needed to know if he heard me or not. _And_ _partly because I wanted to look at him._

"Well, we could always start tonight if you want." I tried again.

"…" No answer

"I'll just come over your-"

"No." His answer was so sudden, it caught me off guard. I could feel the surprise showing on my face.

"Why not?" I stared him down, watched as his expression stayed stoic but his eyes held an archaic sorrow that I myself was too afraid to ask about. He was looking out the window again.

"…"

"You're going to have to say something here and there, ya know!" I huffed out a little. As if realizing he was showing emotion, he masked his face again, turning his now guarded eyes towards me. I scrunched my face at him.

"Because I said no." He said harshly, glaring yet again. Just as suddenly, he got up and walked out the door. I was half tempted to follow him. But I didn't.

The last hour dragged on but as soon as the bell rung I was up and out of the door. I quickly got into my black VW and sped away from school. I was in my neighborhood of moderately priced homes. As I was waiting at a stop sign, I saw red in the corner of my eyes. _Gaara!_ Once the first car passed by I stepped on the pedal, cutting the left lane car off. He honked at me and started swearing. I shot him an apologetic look but that only fueled him. Gaara's peered around towards me and I squeaked, ducking under the wheel. _What the hell am I doing?!_ There was lots of honking as I swerved into another lane. I immediately got back up and straightened my car up, nearly hitting another. Do I dare peak at his face? When I looked at him, his eyes were incredulous. He was perched on the steps of a house, staring directly at me. I felt the perspiration sticking to my skin. _Should I get out and approach him?_ I kept on driving, too afraid to stop in front of his house. That was just too blunt. Surprisingly enough, my house 3 doors down, right across the street from his. _I never knew he lived that close._ You would think I'd have notice sometime in the past 3 years but I never did. I took my time getting my things together. I looked into my mirror and he was walking over! I started sweating. _Oh my gosh he thinks I'm a stalker! Not good, not good! But wait I live here. Ohhh what am I suppose to say to him? _I slowly opened my door and got out, making an effort to not look at him.

"Haruno." His rough voice said, questioning. I turned around, looking him directly in the eyes. And what met mine was a cold glare. It sent a shiver up my spine.

"Hehe, hey Gaara. Didn't know you lived down here." I clasped my fingers behind me, waiting for his reply.

"So…I see." An awkward silence filled the air for a minute. I looked away, feeling the wind on my skin as a gentle breeze took place.

"Yeah, so I'll see you around." I turned to go, but he stopped me.

"Wait." I shifted my head to the side, not fully turning around.

"Yes?"

**G.** I stared at her, not knowing what to say. _Why did I even tell her to wait?_ It just came out. I shoved my hands into my pockets, feeling them get clammy. I glared at the cement sidewalks, pondering. With a huff, I held my hand out, really scowling now. It was the only thing I could think of.

"Um, what?" She was fully turned to me at this point. Her pink hair moved with the breeze, her scent playing in my head. _She smells of buttercream._

"Do you want to start the project tonight or not?" She looked surprised, but she stepped forward and put her hand in mine. Her cheeks were tinged with pink. My heart raced as her warm skin connected with mine. I felt the blood rushing to my face. I immediately threw her hand away, turning from her. "What do you think you're doing?! I wanted your number!" I nearly yelled, taking a few steps to the street.

"O-Oh! I-I'm sorry. I thought…um h-here." She stammered fiercely, rummaging through her backpack. _What was that?_ That feeling, that intensity? I shrugged it off, not wanting to know. I heard her foot steps approaching, so I turned sideways, still not looking at her, and put my hand out. She delicately placed a piece of paper in my hand. I began walking away, not looking back. That feeling that I felt when our hands touched...I shuddered. I pushed it to the farthest depths of my mind. Once I got to my front door, I quickly opened it and raced up to my room. I was trying to avoid my family and I was successful. I stayed in my room all night, staring at her number. I had my cell phone in my hand, debating on whether to call her. I sat there for on hour, dialing her number and pushing end. I have never in my life felt this indecisive. On the 25th time of dialing her number, I finally pushed send. _She's just a mundane human. Nothing to get worked up over._ But I knew. I already knew that…

+_This is going to be trouble._+

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**AN: Here's the chapter I promised. :D Hope you liked it. I know it went kind of slow. But things will pick up like they always do. Just wanted to put Sakura's perspective in there. Review for me and I'll update. :P OH btw, I have a new Sakura picture! Other one didn't fit. So check it out.**


	3. Chapter 3

**AN: I know I am late-ish. But I meant to say or instead of and on my profile. Finals are next week so I might be late with another update for this story. ****Hope ya like it! Review please.**

**CRAWLING IN MY SKIN**

**III.**

**G. **I sat there stoically, waiting for her to pick up. On the fifth ring, right when I was about to hit end, I hear a frantic voice.

"Hello?!" Out of breathe came the soft and gentle voice of Sakura. It took me a moment to respond. _Well Gaara? Say something._

"Hello Sakura. It's Gaara." I finally said in a rough voice. I started scratching my head, staring firmly at the ground. I was fighting my sudden urge to look out my window over to her house.

"Gaara! Hi!" I could hear the rustling of papers and lots of loud movement in the background.

"Is this a bad time?" I was hoping she'd say yes so I could go.

"No. Not at all!" And with that a loud bang sounded, than everything got quiet on the other end. My heart began to beat a little faster, which immediately made me angry. I did not like being out of control of myself.

"…" A minute passed, nothing being said. I let myself look out the window, my urge getting the best of me. Her house lights were on. I could see a figure an open window upstairs. _Sakura!_ I watched as she clipped her hair back on the sides. She was looking in her mirror, a phone tucked away in-between her shoulder and ear. I watched, unable to take my eyes off her form, until she stopped fixing her hair. I narrowed my eyes to see her lips moving more, hand to her phone. She took it away to stare at the screen. I realized that she had been talking the whole time. _Damn it!_

"What?" I said roughly. I watched the expression on her face become relieved. It unnerved me.

"You didn't hear a thing I said just now did you?" She said softly, giggling a little. I felt heat on my face suddenly, and that pissed me off. _Nothing but trouble, this one._ I opened up my window, letting the silkiness of the wind caress my face. I closed my eyes, letting the wind take me away.

"What makes you think I didn't?" My voice was in a monotone, like usual.

"You didn't respond. Admit it; you weren't paying attention to what I was saying. And if you weren't paying attention to me talking, what _were_ you paying attention to?" They way she said that made me open my eyes. They drifted to her window, to find her staring directly at me. I felt the heat on my cheeks again so I grimaced, glaring pointedly at her.

"…"

"Well?" There was an edge to her voice. And…I kind of liked the sound of it.

"…"

"Gaara look-" I lost all sound of her voice as my door swung open. I quickly ducked down, avoiding a fist being thrown towards my head. This was all to routine for me. I could hear her gasp through the phone which I kept held to my ear. I stared directly into the eyes of my father.

"What the hell do you think you're doing? Not coming down to dinner! Get your ass down there now!" He yelled, fists clenched by his side.

"I'm busy." I said darkly, my eyes slitting into a hate-filled glare.

"Who the hell are you talking to? Filthy bastards like you don't have friends!" He lunged towards me; I side stepped him, letting him fly towards the window. He fell onto my bed, but that didn't stop him. He swung his foot out and I jumped. Another fist went flying towards my face and I ducked. I was about to duck to miss the other one coming my way but the phone slipped from my hand. I went to retrieve it, purely reflexive, forgetting about his fist which smacked me right in my jaw. I stumbled back a few steps, cradling it in my hand. It stung; I could feel blood trickling down my chin. My restrained myself from fighting back, resisting the urge the throw him out the window. _But where has my self-restraint gotten me in the past 5 minutes?_ I automatically looked towards the window, which he was blocking.

"Gaara, you low life, get downstairs or else." He snarled, his hands on my throat. He threw me against the wall, and I let him. It would only be worse if I fought back.

"Ok." He spit in my face, throwing a fist into my stomach. I stalked out of the room, a smile on his face. I glared at his retreating form, looking back at the window. I walked slowly over to it, seeing her hand cover her mouth, eyes wide and filled with shock. It hit me; she heard and saw everything. _Everything. _

"G-Gaara I-I-" I scowled at her furiously, my unoccupied hand clenched into a fist.

"Bye." I spat, hanging up on her. I glared at her for another moment before I slammed my windows closed. I took a deep breath, walking downstairs to the hell that awaited me each night.

The next day I got up early to shower and get the hell out of this house. I grabbed a breakfast bar and headed out to school, which didn't start for another hour. It was pretty foggy outside, but I went to my usual spot: A tall willow tree. It always hid me well up in the branches. I loved that tree. Although it was archaic, it had a musty pine scent and held up strong. It made me feel oddly calm and at peace with myself. I let myself get lost in thought, thinking about my life, my past. I winced quickly deciding to think of something else. And that something was in the form of pink hair and green eyes, pale smooth skin and a skinny, toned body. I felt the ease inside, feeling more serene if possible. But then, I remember the look on her face as I replayed yesterday's events in my head. I scowled at the ground, feeling anger simmer deep inside me. _She knows too much now._ I could feel the edges of panic nipping at my insides, but I kept it at bay. There is always a way to fix everything. As the fog began to disperse, I could see the other students filing into school. _You're all the same. Same fake personalities, same fake attitudes, same fake nails and tans, same fake people! None of you know what true pain and sorrow is, none of you know what it's like to be different._ And as if to prove me wrong, in a sea of brown and black hair, a pink haired girl appeared, following the same line. Everything about her just screamed different. Not that I care much. She was just like one of them.I jumped down from the tree, landing lightly on my feet. Everyone else was already in their classes, so I could walk to halls alone without their pathetic whispers and stares. I turned a corner to go to my locker and stopped short. There she was, waiting. Her back to my locker, arms crossed. I almost turned around to go the other way. _Its just Sakura. Same stupid mundane person like before. Only she saw into your life._ And with that, the anger rose again. My fists clenched together.

"Move." I all but barked at her. Her eyes popped open, surprise clear on her face. She looked like she was about to argue, but something in my expression stopped her. She quickly moved. I crammed my unneeded books into my locker, slamming it shut. I turned on my heel, walking directly the way I came.

"Gaara! Gaara wait!" She yelled, but I was already half way down the hall. I heard her light footsteps running towards me. Before I knew it her hand was on my shoulder, giving it a gentle squeeze. And in that moment, I felt stability in my life; warmth and gentleness. Things I could only dream for. And. I. Did. Not. Like. It. I did not like wanting what I could not have. I dropped my stuff, turning so quickly she dropped her arm and slammed her against the locker. "G-Gaara we have to talk abo-"

"There is nothing to talk about!" I yelled. She flinched and I felt regret. It just pissed me off more.

"Yes there is! When we were talking yesterday-"

"Shut up! Listen Sakura Haruno," I said, poison laced on my each word, "You saw _nothing._ You heard _nothing._ _Nothing_ happened yesterday night. I suggest you remember that." I tightened my grip on her shoulder, knowing that a bruise was sure to be left there. She winced.

"Gaara I can't pretend-" She began whispering, the fight in her almost completely depleted.

"Find a way Haruno. I'll be sure you regret it if you don't." I punched the locker beside her, a visible dent left. I picked up my stuff and headed to class. This day would only put me in a more foul mood. And if that wasn't enough…

+_I have to deal with her again in 4__th__ period. Fucking Fail+_

**AN: Hope you liked it. Please review! And thank you guys for supporting and reading this story. It means a lot!**


	4. Chapter 4

**AN: Yessss! Finals are all ooooooovvvvver! Woo! Now, for you well waited chapter. :D Hope you like it, please review.**

**CRAWLING IN MY SKIN**

**IV.**

**G.** The day seemed to drag by dreadfully slow, my anger only building up. I should have just left now that I think about it. But I didn't. As much as I had wanted to, something told me to stay. More so, something _made _me stay. I sighed silently as I walked into psychology. I could see her in my peripheral vision, but I kept my eyes clear ahead of me. I saw her head pop up, staring directly at me as I walked in. Her mouth dropped a little, taking in my fierce expression. I walked deliberately to my seat, staring intently out of the window. Just knowing that she was in that very room with me sent me on edge. I wanted to look at her which made it all the more worse. I wanted to see that… that fear I knew I would find in her eyes. I smirked devilishly, liking what I would find. With that, I looked at her, expecting to feel relief from the comfort of her fear. I regretted it. There was fear in her eyes all right, but I could see her pity, her contempt. It only made me the more furious. I glared at her, really putting my anger into her. She sucked in a breath, as is slapped in the face. I turned away from her, uneasiness in my stomach. _You deserved it Sakura, it's your fault for putting your nose where it does not belong. Do not think you can get to me. You're worthless to me; nothing._ I felt comfort in those words which I repeated in my head.

"Ok class, you and your partners will work on your projects today. Go ahead and group up and discuss your plans." The familiar sounds of scraping chairs sounded. The loud bustle of the students filled my ears as they whispered their endless gossip. Some was about me, some about boys, some about girls and some about other useless nonsense. I zoned them out, focusing only on the outside scenery. A split second later, I heard the chair in front of me scrape out. _And now the day really starts._

**S.** As I made my way throughout the day, I kept thinking about Gaara and about what happened yesterday. I felt the shivers take hold of my body. The way his father attacked him as if it were a normal thing was unthinkable. I don't understand why any father would attack his own child. I thought about how his face looked so completely emotionless. But his eyes, his eyes held a little emotion; sadness; pain. As little as it was, it was clear enough. And then, when he realized I had seen the whole thing, anger clouded his eyes, enveloped his face. A sliver of fear ran up my spine as I pictured his hostility, causing my hands to tremble. I set my pencil down, knowing I couldn't write my essay in English class right now. I began thinking about today. He was so upset! I could hardly think with the fear that gripped at my heart. How could he really expect me to forget about what happened? I just…I couldn't. I wouldn't be able to let it go. _Find a way Haruno. I'll be sure you regret it if you don't._ Those words repeated in my head, the source of my fear. I knew he was capable of a lot of things, especially according to the rumors about him if they were true. I considered asking to switch partners before realizing I wasn't allowed to. Even if I could… would I? _Be real Sakura, you are compelled to this boy._ It was true. I didn't _like_ him or anything _like that_, but something about him was intriguing, magnetic. I was drawn to his rough exterior. I couldn't help but wonder what went on inside that boy with the beautiful sea green eyes and sunny red hair. I wanted to know why he had so much anger, and why he seemed to be taking it out on me.

I sighed, taking my pencil again and finishing up my essay. As soon as I finished the bell rang. I nearly ran to the front of the room to turn my paper in. I was eager to get out of here. I flashed a quick smile at my teacher, said my goodbye and left. Next period was my last period, also the period I had with Gaara. When I stepped into the room, He wasn't there. I took a quick breath and went to my seat; waiting. The moment he walked in, his eyes were hard; glassy. He kept his gaze forward. _What you can't even look at me? Not acknowledge me?_ I kept staring at him, as he walked to his seat. He walked with deliberation, like he had a purpose. And he was graceful about it. _I wish I could walk like that._ I could feel my body beginning to tremble again, just watching him stare out that window like every other day; as if nothing even happened. Suddenly his eyes were on my face. And I knew what he would find. He would see that I was scared of him. But at the same time, I wasn't afraid of him. I was happy that I knew a little more about him, and I accepted him. His brow furrowed, clearly disappointed in what he saw. _Ouch! _I could feel the rejection all over. He glared his most hostile glare yet and I couldn't help but gasp at it.

"Ok class, you and your partners will work on your projects today. Go ahead and group up and discuss your plans." Iruka said, walking to his desk. All the other students got together. I watched Sasuke, glaring at Gaara. I cleared my throat and he looked away. He cupped his mouth to Naruto's ear, whispering something. They began snickering, and whispering it to other people. _Grow up, ass hole._ After everyone was in there own little groups, I made my way slowly over to Gaara. I stopped only to see Ino take the place of where I was going to sit. _What the hell?_

**G.** I didn't see pink in my vision like I expected to see; I saw _blonde_. _She's 1000 times worse than Sakura._ I carefully kept my gaze away from her face, only looking out the window like I always do.

"That any way to greet a lady?" she asked in her loud, annoying voice. She nearly squeaked each time she talked. It was really something that made you angry on spot. I could already feel my control slipping, something that never happens at school.

"…"

"Come now Gaara, won't you look at me?" She whined. From the corning of my eye I could see her posing herself. It almost made me gag. _As if I was interested in you._

"…" And then her hand was on my face. I knew the surprise was clear in my features. The class got silent. I heard the gasps and the snickers, could feel there stares boring into my back. I could see Sakura clearly taken aback. Her face suddenly seemed to close off, and I did. Not. Like. That. I liked knowing what was going on in that pink head of hers. And I felt something tugging at my insides, wanting her to not look that way. I brushed it off.

"Don't tell me you don't want some of this?" She gestured down at herself and that did it. I gagged. I ripped my head out of her hand. I pushed her desk hard away from mine, sending her flying into another one. Her ego was hurt, I could tell by the way her eyes murderously looked into mine. _Pathetic. _

"Dude, what the fuck is your problem? She didn't do shit to you!" Sasuke yelled. I turned the intensity of my glare on him, causing him to shut up. I saw that tiny step he took back. _Who's scared now?_

"THAT'S ENOUGH! GAARA, MY DESK NOW! The rest of you get back to work!" I glared at him a few more seconds until he dropped his gaze. I scuffed, jamming my hands into my pockets and walking to Iruka. By the time he was done telling me that "it's not nice to be mean to others" speech, there were only 30 minutes of class left. I evaded Sakura almost the entire day. I smirked, until I noticed that she was sitting in front of my desk. I almost considered walking out, but I might as well face her now instead of later. I sat down, keeping my eyes outside. I hated how her head popped up, a smile forming out of her semi-full lips. So I glared.

"U-umm…u-uh…G-Gaar-" I grunted.

"If you have something to say, say it." She flinched. The pleasure I thought that would bring wasn't there. Something else was; something I was way too familiar with. My scowl deepened. She was silent for a minute.

"I can't forget." She said softly. I whipped my head to look at her, her eyes meeting mine. And for a second, my anger subsided. Calmness overtook me. _These feelings…they are so useless! Stop making me feel this!_

"Find a fucking way. It's none of your business. If you even think about telling anyone…" I said in a heated whisper. Her eyes showed a…a determination in them. _But for what?_ She continued to hold my stare. _Being brave are we Haruno?_

"I won't tell anyone. I promise. But Gaara, you can't-" _Promises mean nothing!_

"Don't tell me what I can and cannot do." I said between clenched teeth. She sighed, her braveness faltering.

"Gaara…" I waited for her to go on, but she was at a loss of words. A silence overtook us, and it wasn't a comfortable one.

"…what are we going to do about the project?" I said slowly, after a moment. Her eyes brightened a little, and that feeling of calm overtook my body. I sat rigidly in my seat, keeping myself guarded from this little…beast.

"I was thinking that we should go out and watch teens, kids and adults. Like watch people _in love. _To see how they react to surprises, to each other, how they interact. Things like that. And we could take pictures, notes, just study couples over the course of the year." The confidence in her voice was nice, I'll give you that. But that didn't mean I had to like it. _The hell I'm going to watch that._

"No." I said blandly. I couldn't hide the distaste in my voice.

"Why not? It's simple, and it's easy for the most part." _Love…what is love?_ I looked at Sakura, her eyes bright, her smiling face warm and gentle. _Is that…_ I gagged for the second time today. "Gaara! Are you ok?" I looked away from her, oddly feeling that there suddenly wasn't enough air in this room. I gave a curt nod, keeping my eyes safely away from her. _What the fuck is she doing to me?_ "Ok, well I'm going to go tell Iruka." Before I realized what she meant, she was up and out of her seat, telling him what we decided to do. _After I even said no she has the audacity to defy that? There is no way in hell that I am going to be watching that trashy stuff. It's not even real._ A sudden intense pain overtook my heart. As if there were a knife twisting in it, sheering it into two. My past was teetering on the edges of my mind, trying to get through to my thoughts. I pushed them to the side roughly, not letting myself think about that dark time. _Love is not real. Love is not real._ I kept repeating those words darkly in my head. I continued to stare outside, the bright blue skies clear. I didn't even hear the bell ring, signaling the end of the day.

"Gaara? Is something the matter?" Iruka said, realizing I was still sitting there. I peaked at him through my lashes, before looking at the clock. _Time to go._ I simply got up and left. I heard his sigh, mumbling to himself. And I smirked. That is, until I heard a scream. My legs ran towards that sound, without my permission. My anger rose up again. I hated how I knew who that voice belonged to, and how it sent me running. _This isn't right. Stop. Stop running! _But my body wouldn't listen. Once I was outside, I saw her at my tree. Surrounded by Ino and her gang. I slowed my pace to a walk. _At least I can make it seem like I was just passing by._ In the distance, I saw two men in black. There gazes were intently upon Sakura. One looked over to me, whispered to the first one, causing his eyes to travel upon my own. A look a surprise over took his features. I had an overwhelming sensation that they were bad. Those men cannot be trusted. The feelings of distrust ran deep into my bones. _What do they want with Sakura?_ They quickly fled the scene, so I pushed it aside until later. I would be asking her about them. Once I got close enough to hear what they were saying, I almost turned away.

"…can you?" Ino sneered at her. Sasuke had his hands wrapped around Ino's body; Neji was holding Sakura so she couldn't get away. I had that urge to run to her again, but this time, I kept my feet planted to the ground.

"Shut up! You don't know anything!" Sakura yelled, her eyes bright with anger and intensity. I…liked seeing them that way.

"Oh don't I? I can already see that you're in love with him!"

"You're just mad because unlike all the other idiotic boys in this school, he isn't interested in you!" Sakura smirked at Ino. Her face twisted in rage as she stepped forward and viciously slapped Sakura. Her cheek was already red, so I assumed this had been going on for a little while.

"Whatever billboard brow. I can get any guy I want, including him. In fact, Gaara and I are already dating." She smirked. And I gagged. I _really _gagged. Sakura's face dropped, her anger gone. _Why…How could she…_ I could see the hurt in her expression, which puzzled me.

"Ino you liar. Everyone here knows that's not true. Even your "friends"." Sakura said. And it was true from their expressions.

"Ok, so not yet anyways. I will make him mine." She huffed.

"Why? Why are you interested in him?" Sakura said in a stern voice.

"It's simple really…because you're after him. I've seen the way you look at him. I'm not dumb Haruno. You won't win. He wouldn't ever be interested in someone beneath him, someone as ugly and stupid as you. You're worthless. Just like your dead parents." And that set Sakura off. _She has no parents?_ I watched intently as she broke free of Neji's grasp, kicking him into the tree behind them. She lunged at Ino. She punched her in her face, her stomach. Ino staggered back as Sakura landed a kick on her, sending her flying to the ground. Sasuke went to tame her, but Sakura sent him flying too. _Damn she can fight._

"Shut your fucking ugly mouth until you know what you're fucking talking about." She said viciously. Neji grabbed her from behind, taking her off guard. _Her defense could use some work._ She was clearly taken off guard.

"S-Sasuke…" Ino sobbed pathetically. Sasuke turned his scowl onto Sakura, readying to punch her. That's when my feet moved surreptitiously, catching the punch being thrown at her face.

"Get out of here." I said, venom on each word. Sasuke staggered back, surprised. His face masked into anger again.

"We were done anyway. We did our damage." They all left, one by one. I heard a soft thump on the ground behind me. I turned to see her limp on the ground.

"…Sakura?" She slowly opened her eyes, a smile on her face. But that didn't cover the pain in her eyes.

"I'm fine." She said, using the tree to help herself up. She dusted herself off, grabbing her backpack. She gave me one final smile before turning away and walking.

"Wait…" I expected her to stop and to turn around. To explain. She did none. She just kept walking away. I wanted to know who those men were; who gave me that feeling of insecurity, and what they were talking about with her parents. So I followed her. She walked to her car, which I realized I couldn't follow her unless I ran. _I'm not a stalker. She can handle her own problems._ But the curiosity got the best of me. _I'll find out when she called tonight…_that is…_if_ she called tonight.

_+There is more to this girl than I realized.+_

_**AN:**_** Woo! That was a long one, huh? I hoped you liked ittt! I tried to make it have a little something, you know? It's a better transition into the story than I had originally planned. Please review! I won't update until I get at least 5 reviews. **


	5. Chapter 5

**A.N: OH MY GOSH! I'm so sorry I've been gone for far too long. I know. Life is crazy sometimes. But she's back and updating. Don't hate me. :D R&R**

**CRAWLING IN MY SKIN**

**V.**

**G.** The skies were painted pink and purple, twilight misting outside. I paced my room for about 5 minutes, until I couldn't take it anymore. _This anxiety…_I sat near my window, cranking up the volume to my stereo. I watched her house, watched for her to appear in her window. But she never did. I sighed in frustration, my eyes gazing over at my cell. _When is she going to call?_ It was ridiculous. She can't avoid me forever. I turned my glassy stare over to her house again. It took me a minute to realize that her car wasn't there. _But it's nearly 7 o'clock. Where the hell are you?_ I hesitantly picked up my cell, letting a rough silence fill my room. I flipped it open and dialed her number. It rang 3 times before her voicemail came on. I waited 10 minutes before calling again, and then repeated that once more. She never answered once.

"Okay, Haruno. Let's play hide and seek." I got up, grabbed my jacket and jumped out my window. I landed with ease, having done this quite a few times before when I needed to escape the confinement of my house. I stuffed my clenched fists into my pockets and began walking east, towards the park. _That's where I go when there is something wrong with me_. There was a slight breeze blowing strands of hair onto my face. I kept my eyes alert, my ears keen to all sound. _So she has no parents…no real sense of family. Maybe she understands what it's like…No. She couldn't. No one could ever possibly understand what I've had to endure._ I continued to walk on, letting leaves swirl about my feet in the breeze. I walked up to the park entrance, letting my eyes roam. They landed on the dilapidated seesaw. I was willing to bet that if anyone sat on that thing, it would fall apart. My eyes took notice to the dark grains of sand and pebble surrounding the seesaw. They crunched under your feet when you walked upon them. I look over at the dented metal slide with vines growing up the steps. It made me think of a jungle, kind of like Tarzan, where you slide down a thick tree branch. My eyes left the best for last, a rusty old swing set. It creaked when you sat down, shook when you began to swing. There were also vines growing up the support columns, along with rust. Most would think this place is ugly but I thought it was beautiful. This park was archaic, but it brought me a contentment that I couldn't argue with. This park had class, retained its fervor from way back when it was built. And in a world today, full of technology and complete modern-ness, you can appreciate what you used to have and how much it grew. The swing set also held a certain pink haired girl. She blended in to the beauty of the park, something I was trying very hard not to think of or admit. She sat there, staring up at the sky. Her face was smudged with dirt, red and swollen from where she was hit earlier. Time passed, and all I could do was stare. _I walked all this way to stare? Hn. Get a grip and go do what you came to do._ But I didn't know exactly what that was. I just came…without thinking about what to say or do. Suddenly she stood, dusting herself off. When she turned her head in my direction, although staring at her feet, I could see the raw emotion in her eyes; the pain, the emptiness. There were no tears, just enough emotion to make you respond as if she were crying. It would almost be better if she did. She looked up at me, clearly taken aback at seeing me here. I opened my mouth slightly to say something, and she just stared. I grunted furiously, not knowing what to say.

"Ugh!" I turned around, and began walking the other way. _Well you're safe. Guess I'm done here._

"Wait…" I heard her say breathlessly. I stopped walking, not bothering to turn my head.

"…"

"…"

"…"

"What are you doing here?" She asked after a moment of unfilled silence.

"I could ask you the same." My voice was monotonous, normal. I was happy to finally have a grip on my emotions. She messes with my head too much.

"I…" The way she suddenly cut off made me look at her. She was staring up at the sky again; that look plain in her eyes.

"Haruno," I sighed, "…are you…okay?" There was doubt in the way I asked that. I never asked anyone in my life if they were ever okay; never cared. She turned to me, a smile upon her face. Suddenly those emotions were gone, replaced by that sparkle in her eyes. And it pissed me off just like the first time I saw her. Her eyes were so light and carefree, gentle and accepting. It_ really_ pissed me off.

"I am…now." She walked over to me, stopping right in front of me.

"…" A silent grunt escaped my parted lips. _You are way too damn close to me. Ever heard of personal space?_ Her arms lifted, but she hesitated severely. _You are __**not**__ giving me a hug._ "Lets go." I said. I deliberately began walking away. I could feel the burn on my cheeks; feel the blush becoming apparent although pink._ Why. The. Fuck. Did. I. Do. This? Why do I even care about her? So what if she's upset, everyone gets upset and handles it alone._

"Gaara…thanks." She said sincerely. I slowed my pace and looked over my shoulder, studying her. My eyes narrowed slightly before I turned around and finished my trek home. I heard her silently following behind me. Once we reached our street, I continued to walk past my house, crossing over to hers. "Gaara…you just passed your house." Ignored her and kept walking. I stood in her drive way and turned to see her stop directly in front of me. _Again, the space thing_.

"…"

"Look…about earlier…I don't…Its not-"

"Unlike you, I know how to forget about things that are best to forget." I said it seriously, but the corner of my lips curved up ever so slightly and I could tell she saw.

"You're a good person Gaara." She said then, her face completely open and gentle. And I felt the rush of hate, the rush of anger and pain rise up in me. _I am not. I am not a good person. Don't lie to my face and tell me that!_ A sudden memory flashed in my mind, it made me cringe. I stared horridly at her, not really seeing her, only the scene before my eyes. I gasped a little. When I came back to reality, I heard a fuzzy voice, felt pressure on my hand. I stared down at Sakura, who was now coming into view. Her eyes were staring intently up at me, concerned and she was holding my hand. "G-Gaara…."

"Stay the fuck away from me. You know what Haruno…I did something I've never done in my life today. And now I see why I never did it to begin with. I hate liars. Who the hell do you think you are to lie to my god damn fucking face? Stop messing with my head and my feelings, you monster! This is your entire fault!" I screamed at her, exploding with rage. I ripped my hand away from hers, and ran to my house. I never looked back. I just needed to get away from here, and away from her. _She's changing everything about me; everything I worked so hard for. I need to stay away from her._

"Gaara. You missed dinner! Where the hell were you that was so-" I turned my murderous glare at my uncle, silencing him with everything I had. He huffed once before eating on in silence. He knew better to mess with me when I'm this angry. I may try to prevent the fighting from getting bad but this…this was too much. _Everything. Every emotion I tried to keep down, every feeling I tried to keep dormant. She's bringing everything back. With happiness comes sadness. I'm sick of these fucking useless feelings. Sick of it all. She makes me…she makes me so GOD DAMN CRAZY! _I punched my wall 5 times, each resulting in a loud bang and a hole in my wall.

"Sakura Haruno." I pronounced each syllable slowly and deliberately. She's the cause of all this. I've kept all my memories down, kept everyone on the other side of my wall and out of my thoughts, and shut everyone out. Now…it's like I can't even do that right. My cell started vibrating. I sighed before punching the wall again. It had blood smears on it from my now wounded knuckles. I looked down at my phone, _Fuck off._ It was the devil herself. And what did I do?

_+I answered it.+_


	6. Chapter 6

**A.N.: Hiyaaa. Here's the next chapter! I've been so preoccupied with school and life…Not a real excuse but really Thanks for the patience! Review loves, or no update. I promise, they'll come more quickly.**

**CRAWLING IN MY SKIN**

**VI.**

**G. **I sat there, staring intently at my wall. I hardly breathed out loud, much less utter a single word to her. She was quiet as well. I nearly hung up before she let out a sigh, as if knowing that if nothing was said or done, I would hang up.

"Gaara…look…I'm sorry. I don't know what I did to make you freak out on me-" She began, but it immediately set me off.

"Fuck off. You little…" I stopped mid-sentence. _Why am I doing this? I don't understand why I'm doing this. I never have to deal with people like this, never had to deal with these weak emotions. There is no way…I just..I can't._

"I know you're mad, but Gaara…I don't…Please…Please don't hate me…" Her voice was pleading, as if I was the most important person in the world to her. I cocked my brow, glancing at my window. I was silent for a few minutes before next speaking. My question clearly took her by surprise.

"Why does it matter…why do _I_ matter so much to you?" I said calmly. I was honestly curious, I mean I don't matter to anyone. Why is my existence in her life so significant? It was my turn to be surprised for I didn't expect her answer.

"Gaara…I like you." She said it so surely, as if it was the most obvious thing in the world. I just stared, gaping at the window. I walked over to it, and sat on my bed glancing to her house. She was doing the exact same thing, her face lighting up when she saw me. It was that warm glow that tickled my insides, and also flared my anger. I glared at her, but not full heartedly. The words kept echoing through my mind. _Does she really mean that? Or is she just….feeling sorry for me?_ I instantly felt my anger flare at the thought of her using me. Would she really do that? It took me a little while before I could answer, the sound of our breathing steadily flowing into one.

"I don't believe you." I said finally. _Those feelings are useless. They do not exist. They never have and they never will._

"Why not? I'm being honest with you. I really like you Gaara. I don't know why it's happened so fastbut it has. I just..like you." Her voice was strong, steady. There were no false words coming from her lips. But that didn't mean I still wanted to believe him. Or that I even did. It was all some trick. That's how I really felt.

"You know nothing about me." I replied hoarsely. _Not my past, not my present, nor do you know about my future. _Even so, my body pusled, my blood raced. My knee bounced up and down, waiting for her response. I could feel the changes happening. But I don't want them too. I don't want her. I can't do this. Not again. This isn't happening.

"But I want to know Gaara! You're so….so mysterious. It's magnet how attracted I am to you. And I know you feel it too! I know you do! I can see past your exterior Gaara. I always have been able to. I know you…I feel connected to you. You can't deny this. You can't lie to yourself." Her voice grew stronger yet, and it made me really look at her. Her eyes were glazed with purity, innocence- something I lost a long time ago. Her smile was warm, gentle. Mine was nonexistent. Her heart could love. Mine was too filled with hatred and rage; loss and pain.

"You…You don't know anything. You only _think _you do. I don't like you. I feel _nothing_ for you. I don't _feel_ at all. It's hard to lie to yourself when you're telling the truth." I said inbetween clenched teeth. _You don't know anything Haruno. You don't know how I feel! I DON'T EVEN FUCKING KNOW HOW I FEEL!_ All she did was smile at me from across the street. I had the urge to flick her off.

"Gaara, why can't you just be honest. Why can't you just tell me the truth? Or at least tell yourself the truth. I know you feel it Gaara. It's not a lie. Don't be afraid." Her words brought me comfort. Her face was open, inviting the truth to escape from my lips. What did she expect me to say? _How about the truth Gaara? How since you've been partnered with her you've been feeling this way. Confused, romance, unnecessary anger, memories, guilt, pain all things I don't need in my life again. I'm not afraid. I'm not afraid of anything. There will just never be anything between us. That much I can promise. I only care for myself. I am the only person I can rely on. You won't mess up my feelings anymore! I know what I feel, and it's nothing for you! _

_"_You want honest? I think you're different from everyone else. You don't fit in. You're hair is pink and your voice is soft spoken. You anger me 24/7 and I've only known you for 2 days. You're persistent and don't give me space. You know nothing about me and expect me to confide in you. Don't kid YOUR self Haruno. Whatever emotions your feeding yourself are lies, so move on. I have nothing to tell you." I kept it simple, and surprisingly, I didn't yell or even say this stoically. I said the truth and I could tell by the weird expression on his face that she felt confused.

"I don't lie Gaara. I never lie." She said simply.

"That is a lie in and of itself."

"You're the one that can't be honest. You can't change anything Gaara, no matter how much you want to. You can't change your feelings." These words hit hard. And all the memories slammed into me. Each one killing me a little more than the last. Every image, ever feeling in every intensity, every loss and every knife. I could feel it threatening my body; feel it threatening my already unhinged mind. She did it. She brought back every bad memory. That night in Suna.

"You think you have me all figured out. Remember Haruno, you know nothing about me. Stop sticking your nose where it doesn't belong." I winced, feeling wetness soak my bottom lashes. _This is so not fucking happening. You're turning me into a wuss, you lunatic Damn you Sakura._

_"_Gaara please. I want to know you. Really, I do. I want to know you." Her voice grew despite, I shut my door and window, letting it sink it that this conversation was definitely not happening._ Not for now at least…_I didn't even know what to expect from her. She's always a surprise.

"Goodnight Sakura." I climbed into bed and closed my eyes, letting the nightmares take my soul away.

_+Save me from myself+ _

**Ughhh, I know it's been ages, but hey. I got my writing instincts back. Review for meh.**


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